Poor, poorer, poorest

Or is it poorest, poorer, poor?

In which order do you help poor people.

The poverty line … how is it determined? Based on the income? Or on what people possess?

Or on the fact, that there is enough food every day.

Poor; and I speak of physical poverty.

Just like there are differences amongst the rich, there are also poverty lines amongst the poor.

Are people that have a TV richer than people who don’t?

You live in a mud hut, roof partly blown open, and no money to buy new nails to repair the roof. You own a one pit oil fire and have to walk 3 km every day to get water. You cook 1 meal every day for your 6 children that your husband abandoned.

There is no money for new cloths, no money for soap to wash you daily. Your kids are just hanging around a bit and complain all day that they are hungry.

Are you poor?

You have four children, one grandson of 2 and your mother who lives in the house. You have AIDS and often you are too weak to come out of bed. You have no job, but you are quite willing to help people because you have been helped yourself.
A small brick two-room house for seven people. You have two beds and a sofa, so everybody can find some space to lie down. The electricity is drawn off from the neighbours and you are lucky that your neighbor is so friendly to allow you to plug in, in his house.

You are ill, you don’t have the strength or the money to go and get food for your four kids and your grandchild, and you just lie down. The children come to your bed to ask for food, you are too weak, you want to sleep.

It is already two days that you feel too weak to come out of bed, you know that there is no food in the house and that the children haven’t eaten for two days, you get sad and the hunger makes you fall asleep again.

The third day you feel even weaker than the days before, but yet somewhere in your head is a little bell ringing: “think of your children”. You gather all your forces and ask your eldest son to go and get some help….

A 13 year old boy has to go to the “whites” to ask for food for his mother… The shame, the powerlessness for that boy…

Are you poor?

Two children, 8 and 10 years, live under steel plates. A small dirty space where rests of cloths lie on a pile, a knife on the ground, a dirty iron wash-up sink, a tray with the last remainder of a candle, matches next to it.

The oldest wears a red pullover with two big holes at his shoulders, a nice smile, feet without shoes and trousers he probably got when he was 6.

The second one only wears short trousers and a black string around his neck.

The more I visit them, the more I become aware of the details. The last time they had a slice of bread was 4 days ago. 4 days!!!!! The boys can still stand up and find the strength to smile. Mama died and they do not know their father. Family? They don’t know… they get no help, but they constantly smile.

Are you poor?

Loud music comes out of the house, there is singing and dancing in the house at the side of the road, just before the ravine. A little fire burns in front of the door and children run in and out. They all have a piece of chicken and bread in their hands, it is festival.

In the house you have to scream and yell to be heard above the music. A sofa kept in balance on bricks, a little table missing one leg, a TV showing some grey snow, a refrigerator with a broken plug, a little light at the sealing of which I doubt if it works, a brown old cupboard with trays and plastic flowers, a picture frame with a black-and-white photo of a man with a big mustache.

It’s a party … the chicken was slaughtered today and the children have brought some bread “from somewhere”. “From somewhere”? got it? stole it? one does not ask, there is food so there is a party.

Are you poor?

It is your own feeling, your own interpretation, your own sniffed smell, your own experience that determines for you what is poorer than poor…

When you ask them if they are poor, many of them will say “No, because my neighbour is doing much worse than I”. Nice, but this is not how to help yourself. Poverty is a strange animal, it gets you, you go into a trance, you become blind, and you become depressed, you start feeling sorry for yourself; you don’t find the power anymore.

What do you do when you don’t have a penny and you look into 8 eyes begging for some food … you turn your eyes away, you take your blanket and try to find peace in your dreams…

Gunter

Continued: an unexpected meeting

Between the days we met Apollo and now, a lot already happened.
This man is really very special. He literally gives his life for the wellbeing of the children.
Not only did he open his house for 23 street children, started a workshop to teach them auto mechanics, but is also in charge of the Youth Centre in Molweni.

I only discovered that this week.
We knew the Youth Centre from passing by, but we never took the initiative to walk in there.
It didn’t feel right to me, just to walk in without having been invited …

Apollo asked us yesterday to pass by and we didn’t let him offer it twice.
Dance, music, laughter and listening… A wonderful house with different rooms and activities in each room.
The children all enjoyed themselves tremendously, really great to see.

The house is situated in Molweni and is bought by the Rotary Hillcrest. It is completely tidied up and in good condition.
The first thing that struck me was that all rooms were empty, no furniture, nothing.

I asked Apollo how it comes that there is completely nothing in the house. Answer: “Money”. They bought this beautiful house and we can use it entirely but we have no funds to buy the simplest things. Finding the money for electricity is already quite a task every month.

Gosh … what a pity, finally there is a place where the younger can go to and where activities are offered and then there is no money to buy even a simple chair.
Next week I have a meeting with the members running the house with the sole intention to listen to them and to see what their aims are. It looks fascinating to hear their ideas.

Next to this nice discovery, I was surprised by something very special.
Since a while we are in contact with Wade Wood of the organization “Hart 4 Africa”.
This organization stands for the wellbeing of each individual. They have various workshops and development programmes.

I told Wade of this project “Help Street Kids” and also of the project that is very dear to me: "Sithembakuye" in Kwanyuswa.
Wade listened very carefully to my story and told me that he would think about it.

The same evening, Russell of Sithembakuye phoned to thank me. Completely surprised I asked him why.
Wade had visited them and had donated a lot of food for the children and would come back the next day with some professionals to replace all windows and the locks of the doors.
I was overwhelmed, 1 conversation with Wade and suddenly so much response.
Just look at www.sithembakuye.co.za for a moment.

But a next surprise was already waiting for me.
In the afternoon I got a phone call from Wade:”Just to hear if you are home, I am passing by.”
Completely ignorant I waited for Wade.
Half an hour later he arrived with a truck full of food parcels.
I had told him about 4 families in need that we support and of the boys of Apollo, the street children.
I didn’t know how and what to feel.




Some time ago someone told me that I am a “natural talent” in convincing people … would he be right after all?

Warm hug
Gunter

Continued: an unexpected meeting

Between the days we met Apollo and now, a lot already happened.

This man is really very special. He literally gives his life for the well being of the children.

Not only did he open his house for 23 street children, started a workshop to teach them auto mechanics, but is also in charge of the Youth Center in Molweni.

I only discovered that this week.

We knew the Youth Center from passing by, but we never took the initiative to walk in there.

It didn’t feel right to me, just to walk in without having been invited …

Apollo asked us yesterday to pass by and we didn’t let him offer it twice.

Dance, music, laughter and listening… A wonderful house with different rooms and activities in each room.

The children all enjoyed themselves tremendously, really great to see.

The house is situated in Molweni and is bought by the Rotary Hillcrest. It is completely tidied up and in good condition.

The first thing that struck me was that all rooms were empty, no furniture, nothing.

I asked Apollo how it comes that there is completely nothing in the house. Answer: “Money”. They bought this beautiful house and we can use it entirely but we have no funds to buy the simplest things. Finding the money for electricity is already quite a task every month.

Gosh … what a pity, finally there is a place where the younger can go to and where activities are offered and then there is no money to buy even a simple chair.

Next week I have a meeting with the members running the house with the sole intention to listen to them and to see what their aims are. It looks fascinating to hear their ideas.

Next to this nice discovery, I was surprised by something very special.

Since a while we are in contact with Wade Wood of the organization “Hart 4 Africa”.

This organization stands for the well being of each individual. They have various workshops and development programmes.

I told Wade of this project “Help Street Kids” and also of the project that is very dear to me: "Sithembakuye" in Kwanyuswa.

Wade listened very carefully to my story and told me that he would think about it.

The same evening, Russell of Sithembakuye phoned to thank me. Completely surprised I asked him why.

Wade had visited them and had donated a lot of food for the children and would come back the next day with some professionals to replace all windows and the locks of the doors.

I was overwhelmed, 1 conversation with Wade and suddenly so much response.

Just look at www.sithembakuye.co.za for a moment.

But a next surprise was already waiting for me.

In the afternoon I got a phone call from Wade:”Just to hear if you are home, I am passing by.”

Completely ignorant I waited for Wade.

Half an hour later he arrived with a truck full of food parcels.

I had told him about 4 families in need that we support and of the boys of Apollo, the street children.

I didn’t know how and what to feel.

Some time ago someone told me that I am a “natural talent” in convincing people … would he be right after all?

Warm hug

Gunter

An unexpected meeting

A few weeks ago I got a phone call from Monique, our guest who staid with us for 2 weeks.
She informed me that three men stood at the gate and asked for help. She also told that these men take care of street kids. They would come back the next day to talk to me.

At 10 a.m. the next day I sat at the table with 4 men of Molweni. The English was poor but we understood each other well.
One of the men had opened his house for boys who don’t have a home. He told me he drives around and when he sees boys ‘roaming around’; he addresses them and asks if they have a home.

He tries to keep these boys off the street and to offer them a home. He also teaches them the value of life and tries to keep them away from all kinds of drugs.
Most of these street children are addicted to glue, a very dangerous product. Sniffing glue is an addiction that slowly attacks the nervous system with irreversible effect.
It’s painful to see how many young people are addicted to this stuff.

I was enormously impressed by what the man told me, not the fact that there are so many street children, but the fact that an elderly man, of the community, comes up so passionately for “his” street children.
This was the first time that I saw a Zulu man do this work.
I was immediately listening with much interest and wanted to know more.

After we both talked about our missions, he invited me to come and have a look at the place where the boys live. He didn’t have to ask that twice.

At some 3 km from Crestholme where we live, the boys live in a large house next to the local school.
When I entered the house, I was surprised by the “order”: to have 23 street children in 1 house trained that the house must be kept neat and clean seems quite a task to me.

The house is old and could use a new coat of paint. Also the plaster work comes off the wall here and there, but the floor is clean and the house smells fresh.
The kitchen is old and worn out. The man told me that only 1 cooking element of the two cookers is working.
I immediately thought that I’ll have to provide for a cooker because it cannot be that they have only 1 element to cook on for 23 boys.

The house had further a big room with some 12 staple-beds put against each other, thus seeming like a two layer giant mattress.
The beds were neatly made and you could still smell the sleeping-odour but also here everything was clean.

There was another smaller room with a double bed, in which they sometimes sleep with 4.
The bathroom was a “no go”, but still I walked in. Apparently the decency was nevertheless present because there was a boy cleaning the bathroom with haste; they had not foreseen this unexpected visit.

A last door was opened and we walked into a fitness room with all old, cast off fitness apparatus.
“When the boys come off the street, I forbid them to further use drugs and then they get stressed”, the man told me. “Here they can get rid of their stress; they go in for sports and loose their stress.”
That was certainly good thinking of the man.

After the visit to the house, he wanted to show me his workshop.
Workshop? I was curious.
We went back in the car and drove some 2 km back to a place where wrecks of cars stood.
Here the man thought the boys to repair cars.
Marvellous ! From the scrap lying there, they made new cars.
I was enormously impressed.

This man deserves to get support. At that moment I didn’t know yet how but I felt very strongly that we would work together in the future.

…. To be continued …

Gunter

A moment of peace

Time goes by and does not stand still. That’s what is being said so often. But what is time? Also a question that is frequently been asked.

Strange though … time is the axe in most people’s life and nobody really understands what it is.
The whole organised world is based on time.
1 second, 60 seconds 1 minute, 60 minutes 1 hour, 12 hours half a day, 24 hours and the clock went round …
And meanwhile 15 seconds are gone while writing this text.

Take time for yourself, another thing that is often said … but? What is time? And than, even take some time for yourself?
Come home in time, something fathers often say …but? What is time? And what is “in time”?
It is time to leave, something that is said daily … but? What is time? And what is time to?

I read hundreds of pages on the theory of time, but not a single expert could satisfy me.
Time is universal … time is a term … time is invented … time does not exist … name it.

Whether you want it or not, your are taken up in the “time”.
And that is exactly what is so beautiful … you are taken up …

Whether it is time of life or the universe … you are taken up. Taken up in the things you observe, experience, feel and do in life.
We are growing wiser every day, there is more input, whether you like it or not, you can not stop it.

To live here in a country that is rich on input is a gift that I would like to give to everyone.
From inhuman, degrading to deepest love, from one sentiment to the other, that’s really what this country can offer.
From absolute incomprehensibility to acceptance of the course of things is a difficult matter to many people.

Almost 3 years in South-Africa feels like it is barely a year but I got 10 years older (wiser).
Even in understanding the western world, strange as this may sound as I lived there for 37 years.
On distance things become more clearly, while near, you sit in the middle of it. The combination of both is a good balance.

But sometimes that balance is difficult to find.

How can you find a balance between a family without food and a restaurant where the refuse-bin contains surpluses of food?
How can you find a balance between a child that just broke his leg but for whom the ambulance cannot come because of too busy while for a man who simply stumbles, fire-brigade, police and ambulance appear in no time.

And then I only mention two simple things, if you can rightly call these simple.

The most difficult is to find the right balance in helping.

I ask myself daily:
“Do I give food? Do I give money? Or none of both?”

And often I come to the conclusion that I have to choose the last option.
The mission I live for sits so deep and also works from the deepest inner,
helping is not to give a piece of bread
helping is not to give a glass of water
helping is not to give money
helping is not to go to the beach for a while with “the poor little children”
helping is not to go to the cinema for one night.

It hurts me so much to see how people, with all the best intentions, help people in an obstinate way.
I often see people help others from a wrong perspective. It sounds hard to say but it’s better to say “no” if you’re not completely sure.

A no is clear and a yes creates expectations that can often not be fulfilled.
It is better to say no and come up with a solution afterwards to surprise them than to say yes and not keep the promise.

I do not pretend that I know everything, not at all, but I do like to express the things that I experience.

It is and will remain difficult. The longer I live here, the more I realize that it goes wrong on various levels.
And then the word “wrong” may even be misused for, who am I to say that something is wrong.

My son often says: “Just be yourself and enjoy life” and that comes out of a boy who has already seen quite a lot.
I often think about this and though it is difficult to accept things, I sometimes think:
“Would it not be wonderful if I knew less, were a bit more naïve. It might make it all a bit simpler.”
But then of course comes the question: “Would it indeed be easier… ? and then it starts again (hahaha).

I notice that I am not writing this posting in clear language, but don’t be worried. I am still here, I only write too little.
There is so much I want to tell, so much that should be told, but there are so many things happening and to be done.
To be active for and with the people and to sit behind a computer do not match, and in between you still need to find some time for yourself.

And to be honest, I did not find that yet, I don’t have a clue what time is…

Big kiss

I miss you

Gunter

PS: Do not forget to visit www.khulanisimunye.org.

Looking for support

On Monday, July 21 Khulani Simunye started with the first course in weaving.

Aim of this course is to stimulate people to start with a weaving production.

An experienced professional weaver guides them hereby to teach them the tricks of the trade.

The demand for original handmade weaving products is growing. South-Africa was in the past a market leader in weaving products. By the introduction of mechanical production, the handwork fell into oblivion.

Khulani Simunye wants to reanimate this business. Handwork is always original. Each piece has its own identity and we want to place that identity in the spot-light. Each person will be followed during the training and later on during the production and a story will be written about the person of each piece of work.

As soon as people are well aware of the technique, we want to show their work and sell it. This is a way to create an income for these people.

The first course will be financed with personal money of the members of
Khulani Simunye. When this starting course extends, we will need more financial support.

To train a starting weaver we need to invest EUR 18 per week.

As soon as this weaver grows into a skilled weaver, she will come into consideration to start up a production. Via this production, Khulani Simunye hopes to regain the investment, in order to train again new people.

If you feel that you want to support Khulani Simunye with this initiative, please mail us:
info@khulanisimunye.org

Speech about the Agape kids at ICC

I received some reactions on a previous posting.

To protect people, unfortunately, I had to take away the posting from the web log.

According what was written in the reactions; The information written in the previous posting was not correct, .

"Never is been said that the children are AIDS/HIV positive and never is been said that the orphanage never had financial help."

:according what was written in the reactions

I really hope that it is not been said and that what I have heard, and the information I received, is wrong.

If I, indeed, didn't give the right information, than I want to apologize extremely.

It was a success

Saturday, June 21, 2008 - First Garden Meeting for invitees.

Last Saturday, after days of preparation, we could welcome 150 guests in our garden.

People who came to look at and listen to three women who had to tell a special story.

On the Thursday before, we were visited by the newspaper “Independence Saturday” who wanted to write an article on the work we do.

Unfortunately, when published the focus of the article had changed a bit, paying more attention to rape, and the mission of Incognito Khulani Simunye was translated completely differently. But then, you never know with the press (see article).

Many people read the article as became clear by the various reactions we got.

Fortunately the article appeared on the day we had our Garden Meeting. In fact, I was a bit worried that we would get too many visitors but luckily that did not happen and we were able to entertain and touch 150 people with our show and speeches.

This was the programme:

14:00 Opening with a choir
14:05 Welcome and explanation of the programme

14:15 First speaker: Thandazile Nzama

14:30 An act played by orphans about AIDS/HIV
14:45 Short break with the choir
14:55 Second speaker: Jessica Foord
15:15 Songs by gogo
15:20 Third speaker: Thulisile Blose
16:00 Break with the choir and fresh soup !
16:15 Continuation Thulisile
16:45 Act played by orphans about Domestic Violence
16:55 Entertainment: choir, dancing acts, songs and music
17:30 End of the programme



A full programme making following message very clear:

Break the silence and come forward !

Herewith we want to encourage people to speak about their personal situation and to tell them it is not a shame to have to ask for help.

By filling the programme with a choir and children playing an act, it became light and cheerful which is very important when you ought to listen to the following emotional stories.

Thandazile Nzama:

A woman with four children and a baby met a man with whom she fell in love.

Blinded by love she had unsafe sex and was infected by the AIDS virus.

She only discovered it when she was already seriously ill. She was so ill that she had given up life and was already making plans for the future of her children. She even thought about the preparations for her funeral.

Until the day that she spoke out her need for help and pronounced that she didn’t want to die at all. That day has saved her life. By pronouncing her needs, her whole life changed. She got help, people listened to her cry for help.

She is now on ARV and lives a healthy life. The weak woman of a year ago completely disappeared.

Thandazile is a strong woman now who knows what to do.

She is even so strong that she faces every criticism and tells about her status without shame.

“By doing so I want to wake up everybody and make clear that living with AIDS is not the end of your life.”

Jessica Foord:

A relaxed walk with her father and dogs ended in a straight nightmare.

When Jes and her father enjoyed a walk in the beautiful woods of Shongweni, they were addressed by five young guys.

They claimed their money and the keys of the car.

While 1 of the boys tried to start the car, Jes and here father were held. When the car did not want to start, they got aggressive.

Jes and her father had to follow them, further off the mountain where the father was tied up to a tree and had to look how his daughter was raped till 4 times.

“They forced me to move with them, but I couldn’t. The only thing I could think about was that my father had to watch how his daughter was raped …”

Thulisile Blose:

Living a whole life, ever since you’re a kid, with fear, aggression, maltreatment and abuse … it is hard to imagine.

When Thulisile married to escape from home, she thought to leave the misery behind her but discovered pretty soon that she had started a new life of oppression.

The beating and dreadful words were nothing yet compared to what she had still to expect.

16 years Thulisile lived under the power of her husband. When she discovered that her little daughter of 5 was sexually abused, she found the strength to fight back.

She climbed out of hell to become a strong and proud woman who is tired that thousands of women accept that their men can do with them what they want. She is tired that children, who cannot defend themselves, are abused and deprived from their childhood.

The daughter and two sons of Thulisile had a terrible childhood, but look now at their mother with pride; their mother who speaks and encourages people to come up for themselves.

Thulisile and her three children are still under treatment for their trauma, but slowly they find the power to live up together.

Three stories, three realities that are still actual. Every day people experience the same misery and don’t know what to do at all.

This afternoon was important for the communities.

We already know that it will not end with this first day. We are already planning a next meeting. People ask for more, people need examples, and we are very willing to give these.

“We are no victims but survivors” is what Jess wanted to let them hear.

“Boys and girls, don’t get blinded by love, use condomes.” was Thandazile’s message.

“Listen to your children” was a cry of Thulisile
Let the message be clear.

Gunter

A lot of preparations

To organize a successful day asks for a lot of preparation.

To welcome people, you need something to offer them.

Hereunder some pictures of the labour preceding the Garden Meeting