Our first meeting

Weeks of thinking, weeks of consideration, weeks of arguing, weeks of strategy, planning, etc.

But at last it was up to that point! Our first official meeting to give our very first presentation on Incognito Kulani Simunye.

It didn’t take long before we chose the right people to come on board of the new organization. All people we invited are people that work with heart and soul for others in need.

And these are the people we need; they know and feel what is going on in the surroundings in which Incognito Khulani Simuyne works.

The presentation on Incognito was projected and we got full attention.

A short, clear presentation showed in a few minutes what Incognito stands for.

There was not much to add.

Simplicity. That’s what we like. Simple words and a clear picture. That is what works.

The people were quickly convinced and promised all to come in the governing board.

YES ! We are now really on our way. Papers will be signed during a next meeting; still a few formalities have to be handled and we exist officially and can from then on work under a registered name.

It feels so unreal. We are really achieving something. We have people who believe in our vision and think with us. I cannot describe the feeling. A “little idea” that I had is getting great and real: “Support and aid for communities”.

I am so thrilled that I wanted to post this immediately on my blog.

If you want to see the presentation, just send me a mail at uthando@telkomsa.net and I will send you the file.

A big warm hug !

Gunter

Let’s stop the time for a while

Once you reach a place where you are completely at ease and experience that the things you do are of essential human interest, then the feeling for time disappears entirely.
Regularly I hear myself say: “I should update my weblog, I must keep in contact with friends and family …” and each time “I make a plan” to start writing.
At last I can stop the time for a while and concentrate on writing out my experiences.

Today we are Sunday, 13 januarie 2008 (as my computer indicates in African). Summer here and winter at the other side of the earth.
Strange to hear that friends are going skiing or that people let you know they had to scratch the ice of their car window.
Temperature here is climbing above 32 degrees and we all walk around with as little cloths as decently possible.
A plunge in the water is welcome at every moment of the day.
Christmas period was very special. With temperatures of 25 degrees, Father(s) Christmas walk(s) around in terribly warm costumes to welcome the kids in their bathing cloths.
Through the corridors of shopping centres sounded “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas” .. weird … very weird.
I have tried to create a Christmas feeling at home, a Christmas-tree with Christmas-balls and small lights … cosy but still no real Christmas sphere … on Christmas-day we sat with our feet in the swimming pool and the Christmas-tree stood lonely in the house.

While the festive period passes unnoticed, we are confronted with things that happen outside this Christmas-sphere:
again a rape
again a child disappeared
again a funeral
again a family ripped apart
again a maltreatment
again an infection
again a …

One could say that life goes on smoothly, again another …
This HAS TO stop, we cannot accept that people are abandoned to their fate and disappear in anonymity.
We have to use our energy in a different way, we must be woken up and realize what is all going on.
Het leven gaat weer gewoon zijn gangetje zou je kunnen zeggen, weer een zoveelste...

Fortunately I experienced over the last year that more and more people put their shoulder to the wheel to support their fellow-people.
Daily I meet people that take action to help other people.
Generally, these actions are small-scale and people keep control over their activities.
These people meet regularly to share their experiences.
This trend, i.e. that organisations and individuals meet and build links, is rather new.

It has meanwhile been proven that smaller aid organisations or even individuals work much more efficient than large groupings.
The involvement is much more intense and help is sooner offered thanks to this involvement. During these meetings, the various smaller workgroups get an idea of who they can contact when they encounter a problem that is not immediately part of their knowledge area.
From my own experience I learnt that one does not have to gather all knowledge within 1 organisation; you simply share the knowledge of all organisations.
This way, assistance is given much faster and more smoothly.
The last two months were pretty heavy with a lot to think about and give a place. A few people that came into my life with a request for help, died of the main disease AIDS/HIV.
Since I was so involved in the families, I helped them with the preparations for the funerals; a completely new experience to me: to discover how difficult the procedure is to organise a worthy funeral, the coldness with which people are treated though they just heard that their daughter/son/father/mother … has died; of course with a daily average of 10 patients dying, well … it gets a habit.

To lose people is always painful but the reason why they disappear can help to accept it but for me it is unacceptable to accept this reason. People do not have to die of AIDS/HIV, and we, all, point at the government. It is frustrating to hear that the ANC still (JANUARY 2008) denies that AIDS/HIV is a main problem in South Africa while every day thousands of people die of it.


But we may not give up. The individual needs our support, our understanding, our compassion, our help very hard.
Because we tell our stories, share our experiences, people get more conscious of the reality.
When I hear the stories of the volunteers I become very quiet, each time, but also happy that these stories will in the end reach people that are also willing to help.
I am convinced that more and more people are concerned about the situations in poorer parts of the world. The more this is known, the more help will be offered.
I also believe that governments are waking up and meet more and more with opposition because they want to smother up certain situations. More and more people in “high” positions are willing to make known what happens “behind the scenes”.
I don’t want to talk politics, but just want to inform that indeed things are changing.
And in order not to stop this improvement, we have to keep everyone alert.
Still much has to happen and there is still a lot of work to do to make the gap smaller.

When we all do what we feel we should do, then I am sure that a lot of problems will be solved in the near future.

Gunter

It’s a pleasure to help people

ust before I left for Europe, I faced bad news on Mama Nzama …
Mama Nzama is a young woman, I helped her last month to obtain birth certificates for her children. With these birth certificates she can apply for a child allowance.
Sometimes I also help her with food that is donated to me and I follow the family a little bit. When I first met her she was very ill and had no job.
Meanwhile she feels a lot better and found a job !!! She works 4 days a week; I was really happy when I heard it.

But then she surprised me with very bad news. The day before I left for Europe she told me that she was HIV positive … BOOOOMMM ...
in my head; this news, just know that everything went well with her and that she earned a living.
I immediately contacted one of the projects where Be More has a volunteer programme, and asked if they could help me and if Mama Nzama could come to them for counselling and medicines.
That was no problem and we made an appointment for the next day, the day that I would leave for Europe.

We arrived at 8 in the morning en Mama Nzama was taken by the arm and guided very friendly to the counselling room. We also brought two of her children to be tested.

I learnt there that before patients start with the medication, they first get a 3 days’ counselling.

PANIC … I was leaving later that day … how would she get here …

It is half an hour drive with the car from where she lives, the poor thing has no money for taxi or transport …
Fortunately, after some back and forth phone calls, rescue was found: she would be brought by a girlfriend of mine …
After the tests, we learnt that the children were NOT infected… YEAH !!!
But .. Mama Nzama had a low CD4 (white bloodcells).
So she had to take IMMEDIATELY medicines to keep the CD4 stable and after a while even increase it again.
Without these medicines, her life expectation would only be one year at the most if she would eat and live in a healthy way …
But fortunately we could prevent this. She is now taking medicines and she will have a monthly follow up. I will drive her there with pleasure every month for counselling and medication.
Greetings from a happy Gunter

Life and death

Joy ! A baby was born, very healthy with a lot of beautiful hair on its little head.The mother is very happy and you can see the love in your eyes.

While waking up I hear the phone … baba Mtshali has died … WHAT ??? I recently spoke to him … we even had a good laugh.Oh, and the children were so fond of him and also the volunteers ….

Crying, emotionally broken. A twin of 3 months old died.After three weeks of anxious suspense the eldest of the two died, a nice funeral, a last greeting …A week later her little sister died; after she gained weight and seemed to fight further for her life, she suddenly and unexpectedly died at night.We will greet also her a last time next Tuesday.

Frightened I put down the Phone. At the same day the little sister of the twins died, the mother of the baby I placed deceased … 19 years old. She leaves a baby and a daughter of 6 behind …

An other telephone call: the girl of sixteen that lives deep at the dam … has been taken up in the hospital … she is in a very bad condition …

A few days ago I had to take a young mother to the hospital because she suffered unbearable pain and had lost a lot of blood.She is having surgery today … it does not look very promising. She has 4 children, I take care of two of them in between.


At this moment I feel dazed … all becomes so vague, all these deceased … it hurts

Continuation of “And we are still constantly surprised”

Slowly he tells me that he was addressed by an Indian who promised him to buy him food and clothes if he would accompany him. The Indian ordered him to buy two train tickets to Toti and gave him money.
Vusi, the trustful, hungry boy went to the counter of the railway station and bought two train tickets. When they arrived in Toti, they walked to the beach, and went into the park. In the park the Indian asked Vusi “show me your willy” to which Vusi answered “no”. The Indian repeated that he would buy him food.
Bear in mind that Vusi is a boy of the street, lives under the naked sky and has to deliver a fight each day to survive. A hungry child would do anything to get some food. But Vusi knew better. He knew this was not right and realised that what the Indian asked to do, was wrong. Suddenly the Indian grabbed Vusi, and - completely surprised - Vusi was too late to escape. Then hell started. The Indian threw him roughly on the ground and lowered his trousers … At that moment there were a few people in the park who saw what happened and they immediately called the police. But it was too late. For Vusi the hell went on. After the Indian had done his thing, he realised that there were people who saw it all. The police arrived fairly in time …

The Indian still tried to escape and offered Vusi R 1.000 if he would keep silent and run away. But Vusi was smarter and ran to a police officer on a motor bike and yelled: “He just raped me”, pointing at the fleeing Indian. Fortunately, there was a police patrol in a helicopter that could locate the man and then he was arrested in no time. A new hell opened for Vusi …not knowing what to do and completely depressed, he let the policemen conduct him to the police station. He was lucky … it was the police office of Amanzimtoti, the office that co-operates very closely with Operation Bobbi Bear. And very soon Ans (a wonderful volunteer) and a CSO (Child Safety Officer) were at the office to support Vusi … Vusi sits on the edge of the bath and looks depressed and I feel rotten, furious and emotional. I look at him with tears in my eyes.Now that I have heard his story, I am so glad for him: he showed power, he knew that it was not right, his reaction to run to the police was correct. And soon I realise that this boy will be able to process this trauma; he is strong and talks about everything that happened. When he sees the tears in my eyes, he stands up and comes to me.
I give him a big hug and he whispers in my ear: “It’s OK, I’m fine now”.I cannot believe my ears, a victim who went through hell only a few hours ago and who says encouraging words to me … I tell him that we will fill his bath and that he has to fully enjoy the warm water. He smiles and starts undressing. He stays in the bath for almost an hour. I even remember my mother’s remarks when I myself sat in the bath and opened the warm water tap every 15 minutes … and I think: “Leave him”.
Meanwhile it is almost half past one in the middle of the night and I completely forgot about my visitors. I make a bet for Tobias in a hurry and tell him that he is free to crawl between the sheets. The same or course goes for Joana. But no … they want to see if Vusi is OK.I make a bed for Vusi and prepare a few sandwiches. The poor boy hadn’t eaten yet.When he walks proudly out of the bathroom, I see his natural cheerfulness and it is easy to notice that he feels good and safe.I give him the sandwiches and he starts eating as it were the first time he saw food. After 20 minutes we all go to bed. We have to get up early in the morning to pick up the medicine. They have only given Vusi a few tablets to overcome the first days. And PEP has to be administered very strictly … the entire dose and at the exact intervals, if not you can still get AIDS. I wake up in the morning and feel that this will be a tiring day … not enough sleep, looking for a place to stay for Vusi, picking up the medicine, going to Bobbi Bear for further interrogation and who knows what else and I have two visitors I have to take care off.Apparently Tobias and Vusi seem to get along well. They are already playing outside. When I see Vusi’s smile, I am completely at ease. All will come to a good end, I think.Suddenly Joanna tells me that her plane leaves at 8.50. As I am not very alert the first hour after wakening, I scare like hell when I see it is already 7.55 !! Like a fool I call Tobias and Vusi and yell that they should take their sandwiches in their hands. “We have to leave NOW”. There is a big chance that we’re going to miss the flight.Vusi enjoys the foolish drive to the airport …
I neglect as much traffic rules as possible … And hope no police man or camera has seen me …We are at the airport in no time … and Joanna catches her flight, though the entire check-in office is already closed … wonders still happen!
“Have a nice trip Joanna!” We drove further to Umlazi to pick up Vusi’s medicine. There I learn that the medicine (3 big tablets each time) has to be taken twice a day at the same hour, with an interval each time of 12 hours. We started at 7.30 that morning, so the next tablets have to be taken at 19.30. As a precaution, I put the hour in my mobile.After the visit to the hospital we drive to Bobbi Bear to hear if there is any further news and for further interrogation of Vusi. I am told that the man was indeed in prison and will stay there for a while. “Good”, I think.My next job is to find a solution for Vusi… So I start phoning, spread my problem and then have to wait for answers.After lunch I suggest to go home and relax a bit as it has been tiring for everybody and we can use a little rest. But then I realise that I still have to bring a volunteer to the airport ..so now on our way to Waterfall to pick her up.
Once (back) at the airport, it strikes me that Vusi has never been at an airport before. It is a spectacle to see him, he immediately runs to the window to look at all these big machines and says: “Goh, I thought that an airplane was very small and never understood how people could get in it.”
I explain to him that when you look at something in the distance, it always looks smaller than in reality. I don’t think he really understands but don’t get the chance to further explain as he and Tobias are already running straight to the “instruments” to look at them.After we have eaten a bit, we have to say good-bye to Eva and see her leave with tears in our eyes: “Have a nice trip Eva!” At last we can return home to enjoy a bit the rest of the day.
Once at home Tobias and Vusi start playing in the garden and I take some rest.Still no solution for Vusi .. so he has to stay with me another night, which he doesn’t mind at all .. But during the evening, we are saved by a telephone call: a couple is prepared to take up Vusi in their house and to look after him. “Waw”, that’s great!
Vusi’s mother died two years ago. Vusi and his mother lived on the street, they slept under packing material they found at the side of the road. His mother went looking for some money and food every day …
One way or another she had found a solution to send Vusi to school; a bit later it appeared that a female teacher took care of Vusi and paid his costs.After his mother died, Vusi did not return to school. He had to look for food himself now …
Two years of struggle for life … it sounds odd but in fact Vusi was lucky that this happened … he now gets a real chance to live! We are three weeks further now and I am sitting here quietly with my PC to tell you this story. Vusi is happy, I see him every week and each time he sees me, he runs to me and gives me a painful hug with the words: “Thank you for everything you did for me, you saved me."And each time I cannot get used to these words and end up with tears in my eyes. I don’t know if this is caused by the painful hug or by the strong words …He lives now with Amanda and Christopher and their daughter. Wonderful people that do everything to make him happy and find out everything about his background. They even had a bone test done to determine his real age. They already know that his birthday is January 6, but the year remains doubtful. He himself claims to be 17, but according to some, unofficial documents, he would be 18.Anyway, it doesn’t matter. He has a new life now, food every day, a shower every day, clean clothes and every day sweet people that surround him. Amanda told me that regularly he goes back to his old habits, such as his language use, that is very ‘of the street’, he regularly sleeps on the ground … but to change all that will need some time.He even has to learn to eat with knife and fork.Before I left Vusi with Amanda and Christopher, I had a long conversation with them and explained that they had taken a very heavy decision and that this would completely change their life from one second to another.They understood this and are willing to do their utmost to help the boy.After three weeks I see that they are all happy.
Again I was able to give a new life to a victim …

Gunter

And we are still constantly surprised

Written Mars 2007
Tick... tick... tick... tick...I awake very slowly and realise that the ticking is not the sound of the clock I was dreaming about but that it are raindrops falling from the gutter.“At last” I think: “rain, nice cooling”. I get up and go to the kitchen for a cup of tea and a toast. Joanne, a visitor of the High School in Amsterdam who stays with me during the three days she studies our projects, comes sleepy into the kitchen and mumbles “good morning”. After half an hour, when we are finally clearly awake, we go through the programme of the day, i.e.:
- there is a meeting planned with The Dream Centre and with a volunteer who wants to discuss some things;
- after that a visit to Blue roof;
- picking up a new volunteer in Durban at 17.00, “somewhere at a backpackers place”

It all looks very promising, especially for Joanne to whom this is all new and who is excited by everything we do here. And by way of joke I say to her “Don’t laugh too hard, every day brings a new surprise and you never know where the day ends.” We start with a lot of courage and drive into the direction of Pinetown, to The Dream Centre. The visit goes very smoothly and the meeting ends pretty fast. All things are explained and everybody goes back to work happily.Then on the road to Blue Roof. Also here everything goes smoothly though we have to wait a long time because Geraldine is called away unexpectedly, but nevertheless. Again Joanne is surprised by the work that is being done there.It is 13.00 and we have time left, the volunteer only arrives late in the afternoon. So I suggest to drive further to Lower Illovo to pay another visit to Bobbi Bear (we had been there the day before). Joanne doesn’t mind at all as she was really impressed by Operation Bobbi Bear.
We receive a warm welcome, as usual. But we notice immediately that they are all very busy and that new victims have just been brought in. We look at it and don’t feel well at all when we hear that Roos, a girl from Zwaziland, was falsely informed that when she would go to South Africa to work, she would earn enough money to pay her studies in her country. The trustful girl got over the border without a passport, made acquaintance to a man who took her further into the country. He promised her heaven, but once he had her in his house, hell began. At least 5 times he raped her brutally … She could free herself and ran away … fortunately she was found by a police man who brought her to Bobbi Bear.A second girl we meet there was brought in that same morning, raped by her father …
These two stories aren’t digested yet or a phone call comes in. A 13 year old boy has been found at the beach, raped by an Indian. Shaine, a CSO (Child Save Officer) looks at me and tells me what had she had heard over the telephone. An Indian had addressed the boy and promised him food and clothes. The boy was mislead and the Indian raped him in the park at the beach.
Eurika looks at me and says “We need your help!”. They have to find three places now to offer these three victims a safe shelter. All places they had called were full. She asks me whether I can give the boy a place. Of course I can’t say no. As I live here already for a while and have been able to make some contacts in this world, I start making phone calls … I find two places:
- one place for drug addicts who are prepared to offer a stay for two nights but not longer, but the boy has to be older than 16;
- and a place where boys until 14 years are staying.
I get hope !
Meanwhile the colleagues and volunteers are busy with the normal procedure, i.e. have the police make up a statement in order to get a case number. Without a case number, they cannot go to the hospital for medical examination. Then they have to wait their turn in the hospital to have the boy examined, eventually have him administered PEP. PEP is a heavy medicine that breaks down the AIDS virus. This has to be administered within 72 hours after a rape. So time is VERY important. This medicine tears down your entire immunity system and rebuilds it very slowly. The cure lasts 28 days and is no sinecure. But better sick for 28 days than being infected by AIDS. Time goes by and I find no place for him for this evening. Meanwhile I get a message that the volunteer arrives in Durban at 18.00, so we still have some time left. In the meantime I also learn that the boy is not 13 but 17 years old, so completely inappropriate for the two places I found. I do not want to place a boy that has just been raped together with drug addicts. And the second home only accepts children until 14 years.I decide to take care of the boy myself and ask Joanne, my visitor, if she would mind taking the boy home with us for 1 or 2 nights. Of course that is no problem for her.But suddenly I realise that also the new volunteer has to stay overnight because he arrived too soon for the start of his project. Well, that’s a problem for later, eventually he can sleep in the house of the volunteers in Agape.I tell Shaine and Eurika that I will take care of the boy. Meanwhile I found two other places for the two girls, so everything looks right. At 17.00 we still do not have any news whether they can bring the boy to Bobbi Bear. They are still waiting at the police station for a statement … and the time that is so precious for that boy goes by … the longer you wait, the greater the risk that the AIDS virus attacks.
Of course we do not know at that time how the boy has been raped, with or without a condom. But you always have to be prepared to the worst. At 17.15 we fly to Durban leaving the message that we are going to pick up the volunteer to bring him to Waterfall and then come back to pick up the boy.When the volunteer, named Tobias, steps into the car, I immediately put him a multiple choice question and give him a summary of what has happened. He can choose: come along with us, follow me and stay overnight at my place and pass the rest of the evening on his own, or stay at the volunteers’ house and go out to the disco with the young people.His choice is made quickly, he wants to experience it all. I warn Tobias and Joanna that it may become a long evening and maybe night. No problem they say unanimously. Meanwhile I stay in contact with Bobbi Bear by telephone. There I am told that everyone is about to leave the centre and that I have to come to Doonside. Ans, a volunteer, had taken on the case and went to pick up the child. She told me over the phone what happened. Ans was no longer present as she was ordered by Bobbi Bear to come home for her own safety.
Vusi – that is the boy’s name – sits in the hospital with a police officer and is waiting to be examined.At 23.45 we get the saving call that we can come and pick up Vusi at the police station in Toti. Packed with a sack of stuff such as underwear, T-shirt and trousers, we rush to the police office.When I see Vusi, I immediately realise that Eurika did not lie when she said: “Gunter, the boy doesn’t look very well and certainly needs a bath”.I don’t care. When I look into his eyes, all emotions come out! “THE BASTARD” I think. Fortunately they were able to catch the man immediately. There were witnesses who had called the police when they saw it happen.This boy needs all the attention he can get now. When I speak to him, we immediately feel that we understand each other. He looks at me with tears in his eyes, says no word. I tell him that he can come home with me and that I will give him a nice bed to sleep in. He nods and shows that he completely trusts me. In the car, on the way home, he starts talking very slowly … about what happened. I am very glad that he is so open, that makes it a lot easier for him to process it.

Once at home I ask him if he would like to take a bath. He gives me a big smile and says: “Yebo,Yebo”, which means “yes” in Zulu.I walk into the bathroom with him and show him where he can find everything. He locks the door and sits on the edge of the bath and starts crying. I sit there too and look at him. And then the story comes…
will be continued … have to rush off now